There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
