i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
