HIV tests are more positive than that guy
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
