I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
