im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
