He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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