can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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