I accidentally burped into my bong.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
