You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
