Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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