On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
