margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
