Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
