Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
