At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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