can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Screwed.edu
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
