where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
