He uses pillows to masturbate.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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