how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
