I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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