i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
