Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
