called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize