mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize