apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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