I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
