and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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