whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
