did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
