I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
