id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
