oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize