hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
