the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
