plz talk dirty to me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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