Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
