she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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