i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
