Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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