after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
