Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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