i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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