Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
