I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
