oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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