Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Drake has all the answers
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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