I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
