Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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