Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
