See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
