It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
