If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've blown a few things in my day
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
