Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
