At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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