Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
