What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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