you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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