walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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