are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Who died my cat blue again?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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