My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
