The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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