Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize