Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
