i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
